For some reason I seem to be a magnet for those among us in this world that walk a more unique path. OK, that is a very politically correct way of saying it seems that a lot of fucking strange people like to talk to me. It doesn’t matter where I go or what I do, they just seem to gravitate to me like stink on shit.
I heard the quote at the head of this entry not more then an hour ago in my local grocery store. I was standing in line, minding my own business when suddenly the very disheveled woman standing in front of me (who was buying dishwashing detergent and olive oil by the way… I don’t even want to know…) brought up how hot the weather was. This isn’t quite an unusual thing so I agreed with her. She then proceeded to tell me to watch the news because people can’t go to the beach. “There’s something in the water, you see,” she said to me, “and it is a sign that Jesus is coming…” There was also some mention of specific scripture that would back this claim up and of course the statement, “Praise his power.”
All I wanted was chocolate milk. I wasn’t looking for spiritual enlightment or knowledge of the second coming being suddenly upon us. I just wanted a dairy drink that was heavily laddened with sugar and cocoa.
This is one of those extreme examples. Two weeks ago, at around the same time, a guy in line was telling me all about the value of the US dollar in other countries economies. He reminded me of a cross between a really hip jazz musician and Richard Pryor. His demeanor was really cool and he amused the hell out of me, but I don’t need to hear for 10 minutes about how a twenty dollar
bill could have you living like a king in the Phillipines.
I’ve also noticed that the location means nothing at all. A nice woman in Disneyland who was going around picking up garbage approached me and my family and repeatedly asked if we were having a good time. I could tell that she had some type of mental challenge so I won’t go in to this other then to point out that this kind of crap even happens to me at Disneyland damnit!
Now, many of you have met me in person. You’ve shaken my hand and had conversations with me. Does this type of thing always happen to me because I have a really warm appearance or do I seem overly approachable? I really don’t know why this keeps happening to me. It’s not that I am really complaining either about the whole thing because it lets me have interesting stories like all the ones listed above and it is also a frequent reminder that the human condition can be a fragile one that needs to be nurtured at all times.
I have to go watch the news now and see if one of the seven signs of the apocolypse is going to be listed or to find out if the book of revelations will lay itself wide open between the stories about Ben Affleck and Nicole Kidman/Tom Cruise.
-WW