Welcome to another edition of TV or Not TV where I feel like summer is now actually here.
In general I have nothing against the Summer Solstice. It serves a purpose, it’s there for a reason, but it never really feels to me like the start of summer. Yes the temperature is warmer, the daylight sticks around longer, but it takes the American tradition and holiday of the 4th of July to really make me get in the mood. Family is together, the nation is on break, and there is the time honored tradition of TV marathon’s being put on because the network’s know that no one will really be watching.
Some network’s this 4th of July are getting creative and others just can’t get unstuck from their rut. SPIKE is once again rolling out the all STAR WARS marathon starting with PHANTOM MENACE and playing all the way through RETURN OF THE JEDI starting at 9 AM. I suppose I can’t blame them since they probably payed a pretty penny for the airing rights. It would still be nice, however, to see the network for “men” put on something other than the tragic train wreck that are the prequels before putting on what an entire generation knows as the true START WARS trilogy.
FX steps up to the marathon plate with a super hero themed bonanza. At 8 AM they roll out BATMAN BEGINS, followed by FANTASTIC FOUR, FANTASTIC FOUR: RISE OF THE SILVER SURFER, X-MEN: THE LAST STAND and SPIDER-MAN 3. It’s too bad that out of all of those movies the only one really worth watching is BATMAN BEGINS. They are rolling out a pretty nice theme but the implementation is lackluster at best.
BBC AMERICA kicks off an 8 hour STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION marathon at 9:00 AM E/ 6:00 AM P (check your local listing to be sure). ST:TNG being on BBC AMERICA is one of those things that’s kind of confused me but 8 hours of Next Gen is definitely better than anything else mentioned. Be sure to check out the fifth of the eight hours as it features the omnipotent Q sending Picard and crew into a ROBIN HOOD adventure if for no other reason than seeing WORF as a Merry Man.
DISCOVERY CHANNEL is rolling out 15 straight hours of DEADLIEST CATCH starting at 11:00 AM.
At 2:00 PM TBS kicks into sophmoric hijinx overdrive with THE RINGER followed by SCHOOL OF ROCK, ANCHORMAN: THE LEGEND OF RON BURGANDY and STARSKY & HUTCH. This isn’t exactly an Oscar nominated line up but considering the greater population might be watching inebriated I can understand the programming logic.
Hands down my favorite marathon of the day, however, has to go to the ENCORE channel. An all JAWS marathon kicks off at 12:30 PM starting with the original and it’s three completely inadequate sequels. Of all the marathons this one makes the most sense to me if for no other reason than the exscuse to air the original JAWS. When JAWS came out it was the start of the big summer blockbuster release. It was the first film to have used the “wide release” concept, it was the first to use targeted TV ad campaigns, and it marked the beginning of the summer movie release tradition. Most importantly, however, JAWS took the concept of the summer beach vacation, turned it on its ear and made it something terrifying. Whether it’s suspense was made creatively, budgetarily, or because the damned mechanical shark wouldn’t work doesn’t really matter because the final film works. As a boy it made me afraid of the water and as a grown man it makes me want to tune in and watch a classic I haven’t watched in at least 20 years (and I still can’t believe there are things that I haven’t seen again in 20 years).
So there you have it folks, a gathering of television that is and isn’t worth watching if you decide to stay in for the big summer holiday. Let’s now take a look at everything else that leads up to it.
MONDAY
NBC – 8:00 PM: It’s the first round of the semifinals on LAST COMIC STANDING. I’ve actually chuckled in the first few hours of the show so I’ll be tuning in.
FOX – 9:00 PM: Tonight’s episode of THE GOOD GUYS features Dan being determined to solve a crime with the $3.52 he has in his pocket instead of using department resources. He must not be driving since that would hardly cover over a gallon of gas these days.
A&E – 9:00 PM: It’s an all new season of INTERVENTION and tonight features the touching story of a mother and son who both have drinking problems. It’s nice when kids still stay involved in their parent’s lives, isn’t it?
TUESDAY
ABC – 8:00 PM: World Cup Fever takes over WIPEOUT as people now have to face falling on and dodging the Big Soccer Balls. Here’s hoping they also have to endure the Vuvuzela Tunnel of Doom.
NBC – 8:00 PM: If you haven’t been watching LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN MICHAELS you might want to give it a go to see the positive effects she actually has on these people’s lives. You could also be like me and mock the clearly staged ending sequences that close each episode.
BRAVO – 10:00 PM: Tonight on KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST we see KATHY take on the snow covered majesty of ALASKA after booking a gig up there. If seeing KATHY with LEVI JOHNSTON isn’t enough how about the suspsense of her going up to SARAH PALIN‘s front door?
NBC – 10:00 PM: The results of Monday’s semi-finals are played out on an episode of LAST COMIC STANDING I almost wasn’t aware of. Great scheduling NBC!
FX – 10:00 PM: RESCUE ME returns! ‘Nuff said.
WEDNESDAY
ANIMAL PLANET – 7:00 PM: Speaking of marathons you may not want to watch the four hour mini-marathon of MONSTERS INSIDE ME. It may put you off of Sunday’s BBQ.
IFC – 8:00 PM: HEATHERS was more than just a movie to the people I went through my teens with, it was an obsession.
HBO – 8:00 PM: If you’ve been busy for the past three weekends and want to watch all three episodes so far of TRUE BLOOD‘s new season then tonight is your night.
NBC – 8:00 PM: Two more hours of AMERICA’S GOT TALENT? Does NBC have any other shows on right now? For three nights now it’s been the same crap over and over!
COMEDY CENTRAL – 9:00 PM: Miss the premiere of the new season of FUTURAMA? Set your DVR to get half-caught up tonight before tomorrow’s all new episodes.
THURSDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: Tonight’s GLEE-peat is the episode marking the first guest-starring stint of Broadway darling KRISTIN CHENOWETH.
AMC – 8:00 PM: Get lost in a cinema period where men were men with three JOHN WAYNE classics back to back: HONDO, RIO BRAVO and THE WAR WAGON.
ABC – 8:00 PM: Get lost in the tranwreck of human dignity where men aren’t men in another episode this week of WIPEOUT.
COMEDY CENTRAL – 9:30 PM: Want to get caught up on the other half of the FUTURAMA premiere you missed last week? This one will lead you into the other two new episodes tonight at 10 and 10:30.
FRIDAY
USA – 6:00 AM: Turns out USA NETWORK is kicking off the marathon party right with 22 hours straight of ROYAL PAINS.
CNBC – 8:00 PM: The excess of the greed driven 80′s is personified in the incredible film WALL STREET. It almost makes me weep that a sequel is being made.
TBS – 9:00 PM: I’ve never seen the network television version of HAROLD & KUMAR GO TO WHITE CASTLE. I might have to see it tonight just to laugh… and how bad the edit probably is.
SATURDAY
BBC AMERICA – 8:00 PM: Part of me was angry that BBC AMERICA wasn’t airing a new episode of DOCTOR WHO tonight but the fact that they are airing THE TIME OF ANGELS and FLESH AND STONE back-to-back almost makes up for it.
HALLMARK – 8:00 PM: The title says it all folks: DOLLY CELEBRATES 25 YEARS OF DOLLYWOOD. It’s OK, a few other people are actually celebrating with her too.
SUNDAY
All that stuff up above wasn’t enough huh? OK….
PBS – 8:00 PM: Kick off your night of televised 4th relexation with the A CAPITOL FOURTH concert hosted by JIMMY SMITS.
NBC – 9:00 PM: Keep the holiday going with THE MACY’S 4th of JULY FIREWORKS SPECTACTULAR from New York.
CBS – 10:00 PM: Wrap it all up with THE BOSTON POPS FIREWORKS SPECTACULAR hosted by CRAIG FERGUSON.
QUICK NOTE: I’m going to be talking about DOCTOR WHO again this week, and I’m going to be talking about episodes that haven’t aired in the US yet. If you don’t want to be spoiled just skip ahead to where you see the word MONDAY, ok?
In keeping my heart as pure as possible and my conscience as clean as I can I have to admit that when I first sat down this week to write what I affectionately refer to as the “upper portion” of this week’s column I was going to attempt a weak handed turn at talking about TRUE BLOOD. I know that many others in the same category of writing are doing just that and if I had an ounce of sense in my head I’d still muddle through the half-hearted and hack-like exercise in writing but truth be told I just don’t want to. TRUE BLOOD was good in its first season, it was great in its second season and it’s either going to be amazing in its third season or it is going to flounder. There are others much better at writing about television that can tell you all about it so let’s all just know that I had no interest in really saying anything about it other than what you find in this paragraph.
This week the direction my passion is leading my words is to talk mainly about the upcoming season finale for the 11th DOCTOR’s first series of DOCTOR WHO. Just like any good TIME LORD (or fan of a TIME LORD) I experience a bit of time shifting in my weekly watching of the show. If I were a person that lived in the UK I’d be two week’s away from this fifth series’ 13th episode. To say, at this point, that I’m very excited about this is a gross understatement. In the next two weeks we are going to find out what the PANDORICA is, we’re going to find out how that bit of shrapnel turned up in the crack in COLD BLOOD and we may find out if the DOCTOR had his coat back in FLESH AND STONE because of a production error or something greater (more on that last bit later).
I’m not the type of person to stick their head in the sand and say that there haven’t been some hiccups in this fifth series of DOCTOR WHO but thankfully there have been more good moments than bad. THE VICTORY OF THE DALEKS and THE VAMPIRES OF VENICE are probably the only two episodes out of the 11 that have aired so far that I have had much fault with at all. Their stories didn’t hold me, there was something that just didn’t feel right while watching them and for one reason or another I was just put off by them. That still leaves nine episodes so far that have aired that I’ve enjoyed and watched repeatedly after their original air dates. That’s a pretty decent track record. This coming week on BBC AMERICA they will be airing “VINCENT AND THE DOCTOR” which, though polarizing for fans of the show, I thoroughly loved. It accomplished a loving tribute to VINCENT VAN GOGH both in context and cinematography. What some found cheesy I found refreshing and touching and even at the risk of you hating it I would say that I recommend it.
Throughout this season there have been seeds planted and growing towards this finale. PRISONER ZERO told us, “The Pandorica will open. Silence will fall” in THE ELEVENTH HOUR and since then the same crack that allowed for his escape has been following the DOCTOR (or has it actually been following the TARDIS?). In FLESH AND STONE we learned that it undoes the time of any that it consumes, erasing them from existence. We’ve gotten hints that its effect has reached across the galaxy and we’ve even seen first hand what happens to someone when they are taken by the crack in COLD BLOOD when the very existence of RORY was undone. We also know that RIVER SONG will be present when the PANDORICA opens because she told us so in FLESH AND STONE. The last real nugget we received was from COLD BLOOD when we found out that a piece of shrapnel from the explosion that causes the crack was a piece of the TARDIS.
With all of these clues laid out for us the real question that I have that I’m sure we will have answered in two weeks is just how important is AMY POND to the resolution of this PANDORICA/SILENCE FALLING situation? She, as a seven year old, was the person that introduced us to this time consuming crack. Ever since she came aboard the TARDIS we’ve been seeing the crack following either her, the DOCTOR or the TARDIS itself. The date the DOCTOR was able to ascertain the explosion that caused the crack to happen was the day of AMY’s wedding. AMY doesn’t remember the DALEK invasion in THE STOLEN EARTH. Every way you look at it things all seem to point back, one way or another, to AMY. Then there’s the matter of the DOCTOR’s coat.
Back in the episode FLESH AND STONE there was a strange thing that happened that I knew was strange but I didn’t know why. I can’t pretend to be smart enough to have put my finger on it myself but thankfully the fine fellows of the DOCTOR WHO-centric podcast RADIO FREE SKARO made me realize why it was strange without going in to great detail. The strange thing that I’m talking about is the moment that the DOCTOR has to leave AMY behind in the atmosphere-generating woods. In this scene we see the DOCTOR in shirt and bow-tie but without his coat because it was left in the grasping hands of a WEEPING ANGEL. Immediately after he leaves her he’s back again, but this time he’s behaving different. He seems less angry and more nurturing towards AMY. He delivers a cryptic message to her about her having to start trusting him and then they have the following exchange:
AMY: “Doctor, the crack in my wall. How can it be here?”
DOCTOR: “I don’t know yet but I’m working it out…Remember what I told you when you were seven?”
AMY: “What did you tell me?”
DOCTOR: “No. That’s not the point. You have to remember.”
And then the DOCTOR is gone again. The next time we see him he’s again without his coat. I have to admit that the Uber-geek within me really wants this moment to not be an accident or a continuity error on the part of the production staff. I’m really hoping that somehow this moment was planned, it was shot specifically this way and it will some how be called back to in the next two episodes. This call back, of course, will force a call back to something said in the very first episode by the DOCTOR when AMY was seven. This something is so important that the DOCTOR actually goes back into his own timeline to deliver this message to AMY, an idea they reminded us was possible in the episode THE LODGER when AMY is taken back in time by the DOCTOR to leave a note for him after he was stranded. The prospect of all of this is so very exciting but truth be told sometimes a coat is just a coat, a mistake is just a mistake, and it all may be much ado about nothing.
Of course part of me feels quite foolish talking about the season finale when here in the US it won’t actually air until JULY 24th thanks to BBC AMERICA not wanting to waste any new programming for the 4th of July weekend. This means that those of us in North America won’t be seeing THE LODGER, THE PANDORICA OPENS or THE BIG BANG until the latter part of JULY. Thank goodness for time shifting.
Well now that I’ve droned on long and hard about DOCTOR WHO let’s finally turn our attention to the regular programming you can actually watch now. I tell you now that this week was really hard to find things in so take my advice now and take up a hobby or something. It’s getting bleak.
MONDAY
BBC AMERICA – 8:00 AM: How about a mini TORCHWOOD marathon? The last six episodes of the first season are shown back to back. If you called in sick to work today these should entertain you enough to ignore your cocktail flu.
FOX – 9:00 PM: Last week’s episode of THE GOOD GUYS was almost as good for me as the series pilot. I encourage you to watch if for no other reason for those creepy moments where COLIN HANKS channels the same mannerisms his dad displayed on television 30 years ago.
NBC – 10:00 PM: PERSONS UNKNOWN was just creepy enough to make me tune back in this week. If they an keep the addictive creep-factor up I’ll come back again. According to the ratings though the title might need to be changed to SHOW UNKNOWN.
ABC – 10:00 PM: There is no greater sport than having the vapid and pretty be exposed for just that on TRUE BEAUTY. They may be looking for the person that is beautiful both inside and out but let’s face facts folks, with this group they’re just trying to find the the lesser of all these evils.
TUESDAY
TNT – 7:00 PM: I really think that the show BONES came into it’s own in the second season around the same time the four episodes being mini-marathon’d tonight originally aired. If you are a fan of the show it’s a great way to relive the season.
NBC – 8:00 PM: OK, first LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN was on at 10 and they told us it would be on at 8. Then they changed their minds and aired it at 10. Now they’ve moved it back to 8. They realize we won’t lose any weight trying to follow the show on their schedule, right?
FOOD NETWORK – 9:00 PM: Apparently the stakes are higher when the cake gets smaller because the cake challenges are now being outdone by CUPCAKE WARS. Is this like the late night wars but sweeter?
BRAVO – 9 PM: KATHY GRIFFIN: MY LIFE ON THE D-LIST returns with acting lessons from LIZA MINNELLI. Ratings in WeHo are going to go through the roof!
WEDNESDAY
BBC AMERICA – 8:00 AM: It’s another RTD mini-marathon with the first part of the third series of DOCTOR WHO. Is this programming appealing to the unemployed or what?
TV LAND – 10:00 PM: Just when you thought the sitcom stylings of THREE’S COMPANY were long since forgotten along comes HOT IN CLEVELAND. VALERIE BERTINELLI, JANE LEEVES and WENDIE MALICK have an emergency lay over in CLEVELAND and find out that the men there are cougar lovers. BETTY WHITE tries to save the show but this thing almost comes off like it’s trying to parody itself.
THURSDAY
SYFY – 7:00 PM: The TV movie didn’t quite capture the magic of the original story but I still enjoyed STEPHEN KING’S THE LANGOLIERS.
FOX – 8:00 PM: I know that if you already bought the first part of the first season of GLEE on DVD already you’ve worn it out watching the ACAFELLAS perform but those of us that haven’t can tune in tonight to enjoy it all over again.
TBS – 8:00 PM: There was very solid evidence that they never should have made THE LOVE GURU. That evidence? Folks, I give you AUSTIN POWERS IN GOLDMEMBER.
AMC – 8:00 PM: There are movies from my youth that I shouldnt’ have seen and didn’t appreciate until I was older. CADDYSHACK is one of those movies.
FRIDAY
SYFY – 8:00 AM: Looks like the fomer SCIFI network is taking programming tips from BBC AMERICA. They’re showing 7 hours straight of fourth series episodes of DOCTOR WHO.
FOX – 8:00 PM: Remember that show PAST LIFE that nobody watched? Tonight’s the last episode ever. I’m sure nobody is glad to know.
ABC – 8:00 PM: If you have a tween in your house I’m sorry that you’ll have to endure MILEY CYRUS IN LONDON: LIVE AT THE O2 tonight.
SATURDAY
BBC AMERICA – 8:00 PM: If you missed THE HUNGRY EARTH you can watch it tonight before the second half of the story (which I spoiled elements of above) titled COLD BLOOD immediately after at nine.
TBS – 8:00 PM: It is with much shame in my heart that I admit that I wouldn’t mind at all watching BLADES OF GLORY and ROAD TRIP back to back.
DISNEY – 9:00 PM: If you haven’t seen THE INCREDIBLES than I’m going to have to remind you that it is one of the best super hero movies to have been made in the past decade. If you have the DISNEY channel and haven’t watched it yet than do so now. You’ve been put on notice.
SUNDAY
SYFY – 7:00 PM: SYFY tries to update the classic hero THE PHANTOM. I give them props for trying but his revamped costume looks like an attack dog trainer’s protective gear with a bad eye visor thrown on to it.
TLC – 8:00 PM: The fact that TLC is rolling out NATALEE HALLOWAY: LOST IN PARADISE UPDATED right now kind of makes my skin crawl.
ABC – 9:00 PM: VIRGINIA MADSEN stars as the mom of a small-town crime family that’s forced to go straight when dad gets locked up in SCOUNDRELS. Um… OK there’s not much else on so I’ll try it.
TNT – 9 :00 PM: LEVERAGE is back for a third season with NATE behind bars. Yeah, that can’t last long or this is going to be the shortest season ever.
HBO – 9:00 PM: OK, I’ll also mention TRUE BLOOD here in the column as well because it’s on. At press time I still haven’t even watched the season premiere so I can’t say a damned thing about this episode except to say that there’s vampires in the show. Big revelation, I know.
ABC – 10:00 PM: I’ve seen lots of commercials for THE GATES but I have no idea what the heck it’s about. I think it’s a community filled with monsters that are trying to go straight which makes it a much stranger version of SCOUNDRELS.
Kate Plus Wait
It isn’t every day that I come to this column willing to admit something that would seem to get me shunned in the real world. Today I’m doing just that because I have to admit that I was always a fan of JON & KATE Plus Eight. Please, whatever you do, don’t let that get in the way of reading my column.
Now that I’ve admitted this to you I feel a little better in the admission of having watched the special KATE PLUS EIGHT event that happened this Sunday night. Even though it was advertised by TLC as somewhat of a return they also, at no time, admitted that this two hours of back-to-back showings of KATE PLUS EIGHT were just that, two hours that won’t be a regular occurrence. It was just a sampling of what is to come. This sampling might not have been too bad either if it weren’t for the fact that both episodes were completely wreaking of PR spin.
I don’t think that anyone is under the illusion that there is 100% pure reality in the beast that is reality television. Footage is show, reviewed, and then it is edited to allow for a story to be told depending on what story they want to have told. These first two hours had a very specific agenda that wanted to hit on very specific items. If you didn’t take the time to watch them (or if you are just here to enjoy a study in PR spin) allow me to break them down for you now.
1) The children aren’t being exploited and they really enjoy doing the show.
The first ten or fifteen minutes of the first hour were dedicated to the ceasing of taping for JON & KATE PLUS EIGHT as well as the reactions by the children, how they were sad about it. After that transition we see the surprise return of the camera crews, how the children love them and play with them, and we should all be comfortable with the fact that this show exists. The message was heavy handed, it didn’t serve much except for this one point.
The second half of the first hour tried to also drive this point home by seeing how the family gets to enjoy certain perks from the fame like a trip to DISCOVERY KINGDOM for the sextuplets sixth birthday. This message probably could have just been overlooked as actually providing some cute kids seeing cute animals for lots of “ooohs” and “aaahs” except from a critical story telling error. One of the older twins, MADDY, has a melt down because the six younger kids are now getting their third birthday party. Yes, their third. Instead of a perk we’re suddenly reminded that what we are seeing is reality television that has been scheduled and planned out. This breaks the fourth wall a bit for someone like me and I suddenly step out of the experience and realize I’m watching a trumped up scenario created for the purpose of showing me the perks the kids get from production. I suppose the good news for TLC is that it worked because I got the message.
2) Kate is a working single mom, just like so many other moms, but her employment is in the media so don’t hate her.
This message was delivered a little bit in the first hour and heavily in the second hour. In the first hour KATE says after she was voted off DANCING WITH THE STARS she just fell right back into her mommy routine. Understandable, but isn’t it also what you are supposed to do KATE? The second hour, where we see a few behind the scene days with KATE where we see her grueling day of trying to train for her upcoming dance number, meet an obligation with the TLC network and suffering from exhaustion. Although informative it just wreaked of, “See how weary she is? Don’t hate her, feel sorry for her! She’s got 8 children and she’s running herself down just to provide for them!”
Other than the heavy handed message I think the only disservice this second hour did was in showing a book signing that they really didn’t need to show. This made me have to guess that possibly there was some press around the LOS ANGELES book signing not having great turn out since they said during the show at least three times how it was ‘thrown together at the last minute.’ I haven’t bothered to explore if that’s right but based on the message they were sending out I’d venture to say that I might be.
Putting aside my observations of the PR-centric nature of these episodes I have to admit that I still enjoyed both hours. My only wish is that the show was actually returning in full force instead of us just getting a few teaser episodes. Now that two hours have aired we have to wait for the next KATE PLUS EIGHT special that will be available JULY 11th.
Now that we’ve gotten all the PLUS EIGHT ought of the way let’s see what else TV has to offer us.
MONDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: It’s been a while since we last saw LIE TO ME so let’s hope these last final nine episodes pack a memorable punch.
NBC – 8:00 PM: I’m not sure why but LAST COMIC STANDING is back. One redeemable quality is CRAIG ROBINSON being brought in as the show host which is reason enough for me to give it a shot.
ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: After this many seasons is there really any secret left in THE SECRET LIFE OF THE AMERICAN TEENAGER?
FOX – 9:00 PM: Since the special sneak peak of THE GOOD GUYS I’ve been jonesing to know if they can keep the magic of that first show going. Tonight I’ll have my answer.
NBC – 10:00 PM: PERSONS UNKNOWN seems on the surface to have elements of the classic THE PRISONER show with people abducted and dumped into a TV where they are monitored via closed circuit television. It’s created by one of the minds behind THE USUAL SUSPECTS so it has a pedigree that warrants at least an episode or two of exploration.
TUESDAY
ABC FAMILY – 8:00 PM: I don’t think you could pay me to watch PRETTY LITTLE LIARS but it might be a good form of torture.
A&E – 8:00 PM: Want to feel better about your life? Watch a few hours of BILLY THE EXTERMINATOR and unless you’re actually on the show you’ll feel like you’re on top of the world.
FOX – 9:00 PM: I’d probably be more on the edge of my seat for the season finale of GLEE with the NEW DIRECTIONS getting to the make it or break it performance at Regionals but the show has been picked up for two more seasons already.
BRAVO – 10:oo PM: KATHY GRIFFIN DOES THE BIBLE BELT may sound like an adult movie but instead it’s the bridge burning spitfire tackles the A-listers during this taped Tennessee performance.
FX – 10:00 PM: OK, KATHY GRIFFIN not butch enough for you? You’ll want to catch the season finale of JUSTIFIED in that case.
NBC – 10:00 PM: After last week’s premiere of LOSING IT WITH JILLIAN MICHAELS did so well at 10 they decided to keep it here instead of at 8 like they said last week. Just a heads up.
WEDNESDAY
CMT – 8:00 PM: Sometimes the things I type even make me do a double take. Here’s one example: THE CMT MUSIC AWARDS hosted by KID ROCK. Yeah, I know… right?
TLC – 9:00 PM: Enjoy another mind-numbing season of I DIDN’T NOW I WAS PREGNANT as it kicks off tonight.
ABC – 10:00 PM: Wait, HAPPY TOWN is still on the air? Whoah, didn’t know that.
THURDAY
FOX – 8:00 PM: No, the schedule is not playing tricks on you. GLEE moves over to Thursday nights for repeats this summer. Squirm uncomfortably with me during the duet of ENDLESS LOVE sung by WILL and RACHEL.
SHO – 10:00 PM: It’s the return of PENN & TELLER BULLS$!T! tonight as the two take on the American splendor of the CHEERLEADING.
USA – 10:00 PM: It’s been FAR too long that we’ve waited for the return of ROYAL PAINS and this week we find out HANK and EVAN’s father is none other than HENRY WINKLER. Last time this guy was near sand wasn’t he jumping a shark? Hmmmmm.
BRAVO – 10:00 PM: REAL HOUSWIFE NYC alum BETHENNY moves into her own show titled BETHENNY GETTING MARRIED? Yeah, I’m not watching it either.
FRIDAY
ABC – 8:00 PM: The Alphabet Network brings us the 2010 FIFA WORLD CUP KICK-OFF CELEBRATION CONCERT.
FOX – 8:00 PM: Hey, remember that show PAST LIFE that nobody watched! Great news nobody, it’s back!
SYFY – 9:00 PM: It’s the end of the somewhat unbalanced season for STARGATE UNIVERSE.
SATURDAY
ABC FAMILY – 3:00 PM: Want to go back-to-back-to-back with all of the BACK TO THE FUTURE movies? Here’s your chance.
DISNEY – 7:00 PM: If you don’t already own them on home video than you can get ready for TOY STORY 3 with tonight’s back-to-back airing of TOY STORY and TOY STORY 2.
SYFY – 9:00 PM: With a title like STONEHENGE APOCALYPSE you’d think it was a high quality TV movie, right? Too bad the movie wasn’t aware it was a parody.
SUNDAY
CBS – 8:00 PM: Tonight THE 64TH ANNUAL TONY AWARDS is the show most networks are not even trying to compete against.
HBO – 9:00 PM: I won’t be watching the TONY’s at all tonight because I’m all about the premier of TRUE BLOOD.
AMC – 10:00 PM: JESSE is on the run and WALT tries to negotiate a deal for their safety on the season finale of BREAKING BAD. Perfect for post TRUE BLOOD viewing.
