I would say it is that time of year again, but the truth is that for me this time of year actually began on 12/02/2007. It was a day that I will never forget, because it is one of those days where the truth becomes crystal clear, you can’t live behind the lies you’ve been telling yourself, and the decision that change has to occur doesn’t just happen it becomes bigger then that big ol’ boulder that Indiana Jones was running from in the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark.
If you were to go back through the blogs of the past you would find a frequent theme that pops up from time to time, and that theme is weight loss. There is a pretty good reason that the theme keeps occurring: I keep eating too much of the wrong foods and keep lying to myself that I can do something about it later. I am sure that this type of lie is very common in the world, and it is a lie that I seem to have mastered. I have lied to myself so much that I was actually able to blind myself from the truth. I could look at myself in the mirror every day and not see the problem. In retrospect I really don’t know how that is possible, but it some how it is. Mind you this truth is quite evident. It is evident in the size of my clothing, the way that I had to carry myself and in every part of my day to day life! Lunch was big? I’m breathing heavy. Have to go upstairs? I’m breathing heavy. Sit next to someone on BART, I’m taking up a lot of space (granted I do have wide shoulders and that one has been the norm for me since I was about 15). Even the pictures you see at the top of this blog are part of the lie because not a one of them is from a time sooner then 2001. Surrounded by lies to hide from the obvious.
Now, unlike times in the past in this blog where I have written and said things like “change” and “going to lose weight” I don’t recall there being a real trigger to such a thing. I just woke up and decided it was time to finally lose some weight and in a non-committed fashion I began to try to drop some pounds and in the same lack luster way I typically (and quickly) fell off the band wagon and went back to ingesting the same crap I always did and kept not doing the type of exercising that I should. This time, however, I have effectively felt the shame of my ways. Interestingly enough, however, the truth came from a very simple act.
On 12/02/2007 I was sitting down on the love seat in my living room traversing the information super highway rest stops of MySpace and Facebook. While there I decided that I should really use a picture more recent then 1999 for my profile picture so I decided to start going through the photos that my loved ones have of me in their photo albums. I began going through all of the pictures from places and events that I know I must have been at and instead found someone that looked a lot like me. I recognized the face, in some cases the glasses and in all cases the thinning hair. The part that I didn’t recognize was the double chin that seemed to frame the face as well as the excess girth in the mid section (as well as the rather busty appearance that no male should have). Regardless of the photo, this same guy that looked like me but didn’t fit my mental image was there. There was nothing I could do, the truth was there, and this truth was spoken in the thousands upon thousands of words that the pictures were worth. I had achieved a new height and unfortunately it was in weight gain. Simple translation: I’m fat.
So, on 12/03/2007 I went straight to the gym that I’ve given way too much money to over the past 7 years and I signed up for a personal trainer. I was given a bodybugg (which I highly recommend) and started eating smarter and exercising. Already I’m down almost 10 pounds, so I’m at a good starting point.
The trick, however, is keeping the motivation up. For me, motivation can be aided along by accountability. With the trainer I am accountable to someone to work out, someone that I am supposed to be there with who’s time has a value. I’m also telling everyone about what I am doing and my progress, so that way I am accountable to all of them as well.
In keeping with this concept I am going to do something I don’t really want to do. Sadly I believe it is something that I have to do, so here we go. I present to you Will Wilkins as he is on 12/31/2007 (not for the squeamish or small children):
I know, frightening isn’t it?
So check back here on 1/31/2008 and we’ll see what progress has been made. I may post about other stuff in the mean time, but this is a biggie (again, no pun intended).
-WW
McMullen wrote again today. The return address on the envelope reads as SFO.
I can’t believe McMullen is on a private jet and I always fly coach.
-WW
Another letter arrived today from McMullen.
I confirmed the fact that this is in fact the Santa at our local mall. I really want to make a GnomeLand Security badge so I can go question Santa about when McMullen was there and who he was with, but then again this is getting fun and I don’t want to ruin it.
-WW
Well, it looks as though the kidnapped Gnome saga has ended, but a new one has begun in its place.
Today we received a new letter in the mail. Unlike the others, this one was from McMullen. (Typing his name even now hurts) Although the envelope was normal sized, the letter itself was about the size of four stamps made into a square, with very small print. I’ve scanned it with a penny next to it so you can see imagine the real size.
He signed it McMullen the Brave, which I find very noble of him.
So maybe my dream may come true and I may receive pictures of my Gnome in different parts of the world, country, state, county. I hold out hope that I may one day see him again after he has sowed his wild oats and cured himself of this wander lust that he now is experiencing.
I hope he realizes it’s a big big world out there and it’s not a kind one to a Gnome on the loose. Maybe he’ll even bump in to Boo, the Gnome made by Marcellas Reynolds on the third season of Big Brother.
God’s speed McMullen! God’s speed.
-WW
