Fulton Sun
Two days ago I received a new message from the Gnomenappers. They show McMullen in their trunk with duct tape over his mouth because he was “making too much noise” when they first took him. This all in a letter almost a MONTH after he was taken. Slow Gnomenappers are dangerous ones.
They claim they are going to keep him, which in there opinion is OK because I haven’t come “knocking on their door looking for him.” This statement is kind of silly though. Why would I come looking for the gnome when their last letter said to “wait for instructions.” Since I didn’t receive any instructions to go door to door in search of my gnome, why would I do it? Sure I did a little recon since pretty much everyone at my home on Halloween is considered a suspect, but I didn’t interrogate anyone about it.
At this point all I can hope is that he has a fun little adventure and I hope the people that took him realize that they’ve taken a small bit of joy out of my life. Every day when I would come home McMullen would be standing there with his translucent bag. Whenever I would do the yard work McMullen would be watch over me to make sure I did a good job. Every once in a while I would even move him over to the tree stump or by the willow tree to give him some variety. I was especially looking forward to the first winter with McMullen since his bag would be lit up every night when I came home? No light shines now.
I miss my gnome.
-WW
The day after Halloween I realized with shock that my garden gnome, McMullen, was gone. Yes, I have a garden gnome. I wanted to have a garden gnome ever since I saw The Full Monty, not because I want to strip down to nothingness and shock people with a site no one should be subjected to, just because they make me laugh… but I digress. My gnome was gone, and I wrote it off to Halloween Hijinks.
Today, via good ol’ fashioned postal service I received the following in a plain envelope with a printed address:
Now I am a victim, sitting and waiting while fearing for the safety of my poor and defenseless (and senseless) yard decoration.
I don’t know what to do now. Do I send something to http://www.gnomeswithouthomes.com? Do I contact the authorities? Do I sit and wait for their demands?
I need guidance people.
The best part of this? My wife was so glad the gnome was gone. She doesn’t like him. Now her fear is the he will, in fact, return.
I am also very fond of the fact that the G in gnome looks like a gnome hat.
